Deacon Pat's Books - Popular Catholic novelist and author!

Deacon Pat's Books - Popular Catholic novelist and author!
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Camino De Santiago

Along with a group very special friends, my brother Tim, and two Priests, we will be walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain beginning in August. Please friend me "Deacon Pat Kearns" on Facebook to follow the journey. I realize with limited internet, Facebook will be the easiest way to share the journey. I will share more on the blog when I return. I am also looking forward to using the experience in the current novel I am work on "Climbing Out of the Darkness."

Friday, October 09, 2009

How absence can tell so much about a relationship



My wife has been out of town for a few days helping my brother endure his cancer treatment. He has never married and we are "His Family." So we have been taking turns loving him and being there for him. He lives 4 hours away in the city.

Through this experience he has found out that many other people love him very much and want to, and have been, helping tremendously.

But back to the point of this post.

We have been married (My wife Liz and I) for over 17 years now, a small duration for some, and beyond imagination for others.

However, at times it takes an absence to truly see an individual and their qualities.

Liz and I are rarely apart, we enjoy each other, have similar interests, and truly enjoy each other's company. So we are rarely separated.

But even a few days apart, allows me to see what I probably take for granted. I love the scripture from Genesis:

So the LORD God cast a deep sleep on the man,
and while he was asleep,
he took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
The LORD God then built up into a woman the rib
that he had taken from the man.
When he brought her to the man, the man said:
"This one, at last, is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
this one shall be called 'woman, '
for out of 'her man’ this one has been taken."
That is why a man leaves his father and mother
and clings to his wife,
and the two of them become one flesh.


In her absence I can truly see how through the grace of God, and over time, we have grown to become one...
To feel complete, I have her at my side. We compliment each other, balance each other, motivate each other, reassure each other, love each other, and make each other feel fulfilled.
I have heard that Absence makes the heart grow fonder...... I do not disagree.
But I would also add that when two spirits have been united, their bond is eternal.
I can only imagine, or maybe not, the void when a spouse has to be without their partner for a duration until they are reunited in heaven. It must be painful beyond belief. I watched my parents who loved each other more than I have ever seen in any other marriages, and the effects on my mother from my father prematurely going to heaven 15 years before her.
I can only imagine the loving embrace that occurs in heaven between two soul mates after a time of separation.......
I was once told that all the Christian relationships that are made here on earth, and the love that is felt on earth within those relationships, are also experienced in heaven. The only difference is that the love is intensified over 100,000 times, yet still felt and experienced in that same relationship.
What a beautiful thought, to know that how much I cherish my wife, and the love I possess for her, I will experience as well in heaven just to a much greater degree than I can humanly imagine. And that relationship, that love for her, will be experienced forever, for all eternity.
Sometimes I kick myself for taking so long to realize certain things in life, certain truths that have always been present, yet beyond my ability to comprehend. Then I remind myself that the journey that I am traveling is my journey, not too slow, nor too fast, just right as designed by God.

Late have I loved you
Beauty at once so ancient and so new.
Too late have I loved you.
You were within, and I was without,
and I searched the world for you.
Clumsily, I rushed heedlessly among
the lovely things you have made.
You were with me, but I was not with you.
Things kept me far from you, even though
they were not at all unless they were in you.
You called to me; You cried aloud to me;
You broke through my barrier of deafness.
You shone upon me; Your radiance enveloped me;
You put my blindness to flight.
You shed your fragrance about me; I drew breath
and now I gasp for You; tasted You and now I hunger
and thirst for You. You touched me and I burned for Your Peace.
St. Augustine~Confessions

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