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Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Sunday, October 09, 2011

The Priest and His Donkey

The Priest and His Ass Donkey

A priest, who wanted to raise money for his church, was told there was a fortune in horse racing, and so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in some races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep that he decided to buy a donkey instead. Although he had some doubts, the priest figured that he might as well enter the animal in a race just to see how it would do. To his surprise the donkey came in second. 

The next day the headlines read: PRIEST'S ASS SHOWS . 

The priest was so pleased that he entered the animal in another race, and this time it won. The headline read: PRIEST'S ASS OUT IN FRONT. 

The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the priest not to enter the donkey in another race. The new headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PRIEST'S ASS. 

This was too much for the bishop, and he ordered the priest to get rid of the animal. The priest gave the donkey to a nun in a nearby convent. The next day the headline read: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN. 

The bishop fainted. He told the nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey. After several days, the nun finally sold the beast to a local farmer for $10. 

The headline read: NUN PEDDLES HER ASS FOR TEN BUCKS.

They buried the bishop the next day

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Have You Ever Wondered?



I have often wondered why it is that the conservatives are called the “right” and the liberals are called the “left.”  Below is the answer, right out of the Bible:  

Ecclesiastes 10:2 (NIV)


“The heart of the wise inclines to the right, 
     but the heart of the fool to the left.”


(For anyone offended by this JOKE, it is just a joke!)

Sunday, April 04, 2010

I do "Believe" in the Easter Bunny!

Especially when he brings me an Easter Basket full of Beer.... 

He must be of Irish heritage, because it was full of Guinness. 

But the 4 Coronas threw me off until I realized that he must be a missionary bunny from Mexico.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Becoming a Protestant - Yes You Heard Me Correctly!

After a great deal of prayer and discernemnt, 
I have come to the conclusion that what Martin Luther said made a great deal of sense.

And that the Protestants have a deep understanding of the true faith 
and truly understand what Christ wanted when he established his church.

To live a "Progressive" life, 
and to not be burdened with antiquated tradition, 
it can only be found in a protestant denomination.

And where else can you find and live a personal and intimate relationship with Christ?

So this is why I have decided to leave the Catholic faith and become a devout Protestant.

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Just Kidding - April Fools!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Our Priest Appreciation Night

Our Local Youth and Young Adult Groups hosted a "Priests Appreciation Night"
in honor our our Priests and in the spirit of the Year of the Priest.

The Priests were cooked and served a Gourmet dinner.

They even used the good dishes (I think?)

My favorite appetizers (Lumpia).

Served by two outstanding waiters, Brandon and my son Sean.

Then the evening began with the hilarious help of Weston and "Mike the Seminarian."

The priests were all applauded for their efforts and who they are to us, our Spiritual Fathers.

We had a great time visiting with friends.

Everyone had a wonderful time, Our Catholic Family!

Opportunity to reunite with people we haven't seen for awhile, and some new friends.

The Youth took charge of the night and provided an atmosphere of energy and fun.


Then..... The skits began.

Check out Father Ben cracking up!

Sean and Ronnie showing us their magical talents.


Well maybe not so magical, but funny!

TOO FUNNY!

The Catholic School verse Protestant / Charter School Skit!

Was this hilarious or what?

Showing us the 'Moves."


I often think that these priests don't realize just how loved they are.

They have become such a big part of our lives, have become our family, and that was what this night was all about, to remind them that they are a part of us, that we love them more than they realize, and their life sacrifice means everything to us.

Then each priest was called up and given a homemade stole with "The Year Of The Priest" embroidered on it.

Our Priests

Then everyone took turns greeting all of them and reminded each one of just how much we love them.

What an emotional time, knowing that hundreds of people love you, care about you, and would do anything for you.

And then the dancing began!

"The Priests"

We love you guys.

And then all that was left was the clean up......

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

The Good Old Days.

Although we have made great strides in technology, in many ways I wish we were living in a time gone by. There was a wholesomeness that has been lost.

Technology isn't always good when it is used to promote temptation, sin, and evil.


Have you ever had a "Fried Bologna" Sandwich?

It was my favorite as a kid!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Dog's Life!

This was a video that was sent to me to watch.

It is pretty cool...check it out!

Stella's Day from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

My New Year Goal? What is yours?

I am going to re-establish my workout routine, make some lifestyle changes,
and see just how much bulk I can put on.

So here is a time-projected computerized image of my goal for your preview!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

So Who am I Really?

Have you ever heard your own voice after being recorded?

Doesn't really sound like you thought you sounded.

Have you seen pictures taken of you that really don't look like you?

Or at least what you thought you looked like.

After a quick study of the above picture, I realized who I must look like to most of the world, not at all what I thought I looked like, but now I realize that to all of you, I look like Santa Clause in workout clothes!

HA!

HO HO HO

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I think I made a pig of myself.......

We had a gathering at our house this afternoon for a rosary and a meal.

Everyone brought something to eat, potluck style, but Liz made a Ham.

I don't know about you, but I just love the taste of Ham.....
I think I made a pig of myself!


Is that really the part of the pig that ham comes from?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Angry or Laugh - How should I respond?

It was a beautiful day outside so I thought I would take the opportunity to enjoy God's creation.
I borrowed my Son's motorcycle and decided to head up the mountain toward Mount Lassen.
I grabbed the camera so I could take a few pictures and planned on blogging the trip.


As I was riding through the beautiful trees, across green valleys, over flowing streams, I stopped often to take pictures.

I was a little worried that the camera might fall out of my jacket pocket so I kept a close eye on it, checking it often.

And then all of the sudden, the camera was gone.

I had only checked on it, felt it in my pocket 1 minute earlier. It must of just fallen out of my pocket.

I told myself, not to worry, it is a tough sports camera, waterproof, and shock proof, I was sure that it could withstand the impact.

So, I turned around and back tracked the 1 mile that it must of fallen out.

There it was on the side of the road, a little banged up, but look functional. However, the side compartment was open. I looked in it and the battery and SD memory card was gone. It couldn't of just fallen out, I search the entire area, then it hit me....... It was stolen!




Within the few minutes that it took me to notice that the camera was missing and to turn around, someone must have seen it on the road, stopped, and stole the battery and memory card.

I just stood there on the side of the road with that empty feeling that you get in your stomach when something bad happens.

I couldn't believe it!

I began to think thoughts like "I can't believe this world that I am living in, the total disregard for honesty, virtue....... the evil."

Then by God's grace I remember something...... On that memory card, I forgot to erase one of my recent homilies that was video taped from Mass.

I then laughed!

The thief who took my memory card, will probably put the card into his computer, and curiosity will lead him to look at the pictures, and then will lead him to click on the video, and what will he see and hear....... My homily!

Just imagine what his thoughts will be, as he or she recognises me from the pictures on the card, now dressed in my alb and stole, and preaching about the evils of the world and God's desire for repentance!

If they are not Catholic, don't know what a deacon is, upon seeing me in clerical clothes, will surly think thay had stolen from a priest!


Do you think there just might be a little guilt and shame?



God works in mysterious ways.
I trust and believe that everything that happens in life can be used to bring people back to Him.
I choose to laugh and to let the anger leave just as quick as it arrived......
I trust in you God!